First day in Asia, and it’s surreal to be here.  I’m the visual majority, yet I can’t converse with most of the people here. I find friendly faces in the visual minority, a feeling of comfort when the assumption is they can speak my language. 

As I’m ending my day, my lover is starting his. I never thought that I’d feel this way about solo travel. What used to be my favourite activity has turned a little bittersweet, because I know that it’d be so much more fun with my person.

I’m awaiting some profound thinking, but I haven’t been doing much reflecting today. A lot of window shopping and cafe hopping, but no groundbreaking epiphanies. Shame, I could use one of those. Help guide me through this lost time. Feeling lost, something that I am very familiar with. I used to say that so often, unsure about where my life is going or if I’m on the right path. But really, life was treating me pretty well up until a couple weeks ago. It felt like things were finally falling into place, like things were going too well.

Is that why I got fired? Because the universe thought, "this girl is receiving too much. She's getting everything she wants, it's time to humble her." Because it feels that way. Not to sound dramatic, but what feels like the love of my life entered my life, my dream house is mine whenever I'm ready to have it, my friends are abundant and meaningful, my relationship with my parents were good, and I had an interview with a school program (that I eventually got into). Things were too good to be true. I was felt too safe with the good, that I had forgotten what the bad felt like.

So here I am, feeling the bad. The uncertainty, the fear, the unknown - in Korea. Sitting at a rooftop bar sipping an overpriced drink justified by the clear skyline view. Alone. Hoping that I figure this out like I usually do. I guess I have to keep in mind that I never feel like I can get out of it when I'm deep in it. I just have to trust the process. I will come out of this, somehow someway.

On a completely random note, I just had the best Korean BBQ for 27 dollars. Unreal. And with that I'm signing out xoxo.